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The Nature of Fear pt III: The Final Chapter!

Last week, I was getting to the root of what causes fear: the subconscious mind.  However, I did not list any concrete means of how to accomplish this in writing(which is what I set out to do).  The truth is, I did not yet have the means to express my thoughts.  To examine this and also fulfill my promise of describing characterization, I will describe my adventure in writing my short story “Forbidden Descent.”  First I will examine characterization.

Along with Writing for the Web, I am also taking Advanced Fiction Writing.  I set out to create a Lovecraftian Horror story so I created a character that takes a job as a housekeeper at an old mansion during World War I.  She starts feeling invasive thoughts that compel her to explore the cellar.  This cellar, as you can imagine, is full of scary stuff that is intended to scare her and the reader.

After reading it to my professor/mentor, we realized I had a big problem with my story.  Any sane person who has thoughts placed into her head by someone or something would avoid the cellar and probably just get the hell out of there.

Story Plot:  Lady gets job as housekeeper.  Lady hears voices in her head.  Lady quits her job and moves in with her parents.

I know moving back in with your parents could be quite a scary story for many of you, it is not what I had set out to do.  In my story, my heroine needs to go into the basement.  It can’t be a flippant whim or be what may seem to be an illogical conclusion.  Her need to explore the basement is as important – if not more important – than what is down there.  Anything else and the ability to suspend disbelief is ruined and the reader will not forgive you!

Story Plot: Jeff needs to go to Japan to complete his Mobile Suit Gundam action figure collection.  His parents say no because he is twelve and too young to travel alone.  Rather than use ebay, he builds his own Mobile Suit Gundam Mecha and flies there anyway.

Stoopid…Unrealistic…and flawed I know.  But why?  The idea of a kid building his own giant robot suit is actually kind of cool.  It’s because he builds it for the wrong reasons!  So no.  My housekeeper cannot justifiably go down into the basement.

But what if she wasn’t really a housekeeper?  I gotta thank my instructor for the sprout of this idea.  She said, “What if the neighbors hear the voices too?”

Story plot:  In 1916, Members of a church in Ithaca, NY start complaining to their pastor that they are hearing whispers of pleas for help in a certain neighborhood.  Fearing ghosts or perhaps demons the church starts an investigation in the matter.  All houses in the area are checked except for a mansion owned by a retired professor of medicine.  When asked, the man rudely refuses to cooperate and acts like he has something to hide.  Mia Grisby is tasked (if she chooses to accept) to pose as the Doctors new housekeeper and investigate the house.

Wow.  I submit that is a lot more compelling.  A female investigator in the early twentieth century looking for ghosts/demons!  Since I came up with this, the details have really flown about this character as well.  Her faith (I won’t preach I promise), her investigation, as well as what she finds have dramatically changed and blossomed.  It will also help me come up with a more satisfying ending.

Does this help it make it more scary?  Definitely.  She now has her need to go down those stairs in a believable manner.  This will help with the suspension of disbelief.

Here is an excerpt of my story:

My candle did not illuminate more than ten feet in front of me and because of the steepness of the stairs, I could not see where I was stepping at all.  Since there was no hand rail to stable myself, I leaned against the wall with my free hand.  The surface was sticky and as my hand dragged against the wall a buildup of this substance began to coat the tips of my fingers. I was taller than Dr. Rossbach by about three inches.  Where his head had never been, I encountered cobwebs that stuck to my hair.  I was so unsteady I did not dare brush them away.

Is this scary?  A little bit.  There are a lot of uncomfortable details that put the reader in our hero’s shoes.  If you can respect, relate, and believe the character (see above), these details can get into a readers mind and subconsciously set the mood.

Atmosphere is everything!

Thank you for reading, and I really love to read the comments.  Keep em coming!

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